It’s all gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Years of gaming, painstaking hours devoted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Memories and moments captured in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Upgraded abilities and weapons, explored maps, completed side quests, unlocked secrets, discovered treasures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lost to the ether.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All because of a rash decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’M SO STUPID.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I should sue PlayStation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They assured me that I wouldn’t lose my data if I chose “Restore to Default Settings” and not “Initialize PS4.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Other gaming articles reaffirmed the same statement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’M SO STUPID.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I should’ve checked Reddit and the forums – that’s where the real information lies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why didn’t I check the forums?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why didn’t I do more research?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why was I so desperate to get my PS4 back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I could’ve just left it in the “Safety Mode Loop” until the next morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was no need to rush, to fix it that night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I guess I was just dying to play The Last of US Part 2<\/em>, again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I really wanted to play The Last of US Part 2, again.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I’M SO STUPD.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I knew the moment I turned it on and it opened to a different home screen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And my usual games didn’t appear, but rather ones I hadn’t played in forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Even before I opened up The Last of Us Part 2<\/em> and was hit with the original Menu Page, with the boat, not the one of Catalina Island when you’ve completed the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Even before I saw there was no “Load Game” or “New Game+” feature and only “Start New Game.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n I knew.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Something was disturbingly wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I’M SO STUPID.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I just want to cry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And scream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And curl into a ball of despair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Even now, weeks after, I’m still mourning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I haven’t touched my PS4.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I can’t bring myself to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It hurts too much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There goes playing Life is Strange<\/em> with Sophie and Lauren.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I really wanted Sophie to play it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She would’ve loved it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There goes replaying my games with ease of “New Game+,” that lets me retain my skills and collectibles from previous playthroughs while increasing the difficulty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I can’t fathom starting from scratch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I can’t imagine redoing it all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I’ve already done it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Countless of times prior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There go YEARS OF DEDICATION.<\/p>\n\n\n\n AND MEMORIES.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Of my sister and I playing these games.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hours just spent immersed in worlds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Crafting, leveling up your character, exploring uncharted areas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Experiencing the story together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Those moments are burned, seared, engrained in mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So vivid, so tangible, so recent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I just played The Last of Us Part 2<\/em> yesterday; I just reached Seattle Day 1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I just can’t understand. I just can’t comprehend. How it’s all –<\/p>\n\n\n\n GONE.<\/p>\n\n\n\n POOF.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In an instant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When it was just there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And I’m left with lingering traces and flashes of phantom motions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dear Reader,<\/p>\n\n\n\n I am aware of how privileged and first-world this problem is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I am aware of how spoiled and out-of-touch with reality I sound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I acknowledge that this is a result of living in a consumerist society, where we attach ourselves to material items.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And yet,<\/p>\n\n\n\n My blood still boils and my throat catches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And my fists clench and my eyes well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And an emptiness consumes me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n Akin to that of a lost friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Or a blanket snatched from your sleep,<\/p>\n\n\n\n Or innocence slipping away, grounded by harsh reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I’ll get over it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because there are more important things in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Than a PS4.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I’M SO STUPID. 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