{"id":2766,"date":"2023-12-17T21:51:56","date_gmt":"2023-12-17T21:51:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.annavaneekeren.com\/digistory\/?p=2766"},"modified":"2023-12-17T21:51:56","modified_gmt":"2023-12-17T21:51:56","slug":"in-media-res","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.annavaneekeren.com\/digistory\/random-musings\/in-media-res\/","title":{"rendered":"In Media Res"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I feel as if I\u2019m in a constant state of motion \u2013 of perpetual action, an agonizing position of forced movement, of incessant deadlines and responsibilities, and streams of relationships and people.\u202f&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Of suspension between multiple realities and weighted identities, a duality I can never fully grasp, a fusion I can never truly embrace, an inner turmoil that breeds distaste.\u202f&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pressured to conform, coerced to adorn glitter and gloss, mannerisms of talk, sentiments that are lost. Must I reinvent myself and scar my face to win society\u2019s grace? Or am I just trying to erase what can\u2019t be replaced?\u202f&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I JUST WANT TO BE.\u202f&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I just want to exist.\u202f&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Surely, there is something more than this.\u202f&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But nature is in endless flux.\u202f&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The world spins and churns in indifference.\u202f&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>All the flora and fauna in enduring resistance, Mother Nature in defiance.\u202f&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s these moments of tranquility and respite.\u202f&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Twilight drives with a friend. A resplendent sunset. A night-in, curled up watching a favorite movie. Purring of a cat. Warmth of a breath. Roaring of thunder. My reflection torn asunder.\u202f&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Perhaps \u2013\u202f&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I just am.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I JUST WANT TO BE.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2422,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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